


The Pendant

by Monalisasandmadhatters20



Category: Rocketman (2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, John Reid is NOT a complete asshole in this, Period-Typical Homophobia, until he is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-13 16:03:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monalisasandmadhatters20/pseuds/Monalisasandmadhatters20
Summary: He held on as long as he could for Elton.He could only hope Elton would hang on for himself.





	1. Prologue

Bernie Taupin knew the moment he met Reggie Dwight his life would never be the same. There was something about Reg that was so endearing to Bernie. They were truly polar opposites, and Bernie wondered many times if their partnership would stand the test of time. Bernie was a simple man, who enjoyed the simple life. Reggie was a bit ostentatious… Where Bernie wore neutral colors, Reggie was always bursting with color. Where Bernie was stoic, Reggie wore his heart on his sleeve. Where Bernie was a realist, Reggie imagined such brilliant futures and fought his way to make them happen. Where Bernie was restrained, Reg was prone to histrionics that made Bernie question his entire existence. 

They made a brilliant team.

Being best mates with an addict is difficult, though, no matter how much history you may share. Bernie suffered silently beside Reggie as he donned the Elton John cape. He cleaned up after _ Elton _ after three day benders. He would bathe him and tuck him in bed with hopes he would get enough rest to counteract all the damage done to his body. He would spend his own sleepless night gathering all the drink and drug and disposing it appropriately, praying that this time, _ this time _ would be the very last time he would need to do so.

There was always a _ next time _, though. Always.

Bernie suffered silently as Elton’s first relationship grew toxic. Bernie shed many tears upon seeing whatever progress they had made with Elton’s self-esteem shatter. He watched Elton become a shell of a man, fearing any sharp movement or word. Elton still performed like a well-oiled machine. His enthusiasm on-stage was second to none. His flamboyant costumes were the talk of the world. Everyone loved Elton John.

Except Elton John himself.

Bernie had to step back. He knew if he continued on this path it would lead to his own destruction. He already drank a little too much and partied a little too hard whilst the road. Every night was a fucking party, it seemed. Elton used to be the life of the party. Now he stuck to the shadows, watching the going-ons with frown. Reid ensured Elton stayed alive now. For all his faults, for how toxic their relationship really was, Bernie knew Reid would never allow Elton to kill himself.

He made more money with Elton alive than dead, of course.

Bernie no longer recognized himself when he looked in the mirror. He could see he too was a shadow of his former self. He was barely 30, yet with the constant state of anxiety he lived with he looked so haggard. His eyes were as dull as Elton’s himself. He knew if he stayed much longer, he would die. He held on as long as he could for Elton.

He could only hope Elton would hang on for himself.

**********************

Elton always knew he was different. He never quite fit into society's definition of ‘normal’, much to his parents' disappointment. He did his very best to please them, but nothing was ever good enough. He decided at a young age the best thing he could do would be to please himself, society be damned.

He knew he was destined for great things. His Nan banged on about it since he was a small. She was the only bright spot in his life for such a long time. It was due to her he even made it through his adolescence somewhat unscathed. Fred did try, but his love for Sheila outweighed any parental affection he might have had for him as the years went on.

Bernie was nothing short of an angel sent at just the right time. Their friendship developed so quickly it was like they had never known time apart. He dealt with Elton at his best and his worst, and never batted an eye. Elton took comfort in the thought that no matter how many people came and went, Bernie would always be there.

Until he wasn’t.

Elton sat in the large hotel suite, alone. He was mostly alone these days. He had driven away the one constant in his fucked up existence with his lifestyle. He tried to find solace in the fact that it was not forever: that Bernie was just clearing his head, and would return. He just had to remain strong for just a little while longer.

He would never disappear forever...


	2. Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Bernie gazed at the telephone on the wall that would not stop bloody ringing. It rang almost constantly for two days. He knew he should just answer it (or at least take it off the bloody hook for a while) so he could focus on his finance sheet, but he was still quite reluctant to speak with anyone even now.

He tossed his pencil on the kitchen table in annoyance. He had left the tour over three months ago. He felt better than he had in years. He ate at regular intervals, he slept a healthy amount, and he went to the gym three times a week. He cut back on his alcohol and had not touched any drugs throughout his time away. He even found a lovely woman to spend most of his time with. Everything was just brilliant.

But it wasn’t. Not really.

Elton was unwell still, if his appearances in the newspapers and the television were anything to go by. He had already been unwell, and Bernie had still fucking left him. Each time the phone rang Bernie feared it would be some horrid news on his best mate. He avoided the phone like the plague, keeping regular contact through letters and personal visits with those important to him. Most believed Elton’s eccentricity rubbed off on him over the years. He was happy to allow them to believe that.

“Will you answer the damn phone already, Bernie?,” Alexandra asked, stepping into the kitchen, her hands on her hips. “Your aversion to the telephone is giving me a fucking headache.”

Bernie rolled his eyes. “Pills are in the cabinet, love,” he muttered, picking up his pencil. “Feel free to help yourself.”

“Oh for god's sake,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “If it rings again and you don’t answer it, Bernie Taupin, I’m going to answer it for you. This is getting absurd!”

“It’s already passed absurd, love,” he said, scribbling in his planner. "It's a sad, sad situation..."

_ Sorry seems to be the hardest word _ . _ You wrote those lyrics, you tosser, and now you are fucking living it. _

Bernie scrubbed his face with his hand, his mind warring against itself. He wanted to find Reggie. He didn't know where in the world he actually was. He wanted his mate back. He wanted to be of help to him in anyway that he could. He wanted to ensure he was safe and whole and Reid had not done too much more damage. He wanted to work together and create the magic only they could do together. He had written tons of words during his hiatus that could maybe become an album at Reg's talented hand. He wanted to feel needed again. 

He also wanted to continue to better himself. He was almost at a healthy weight. He wanted to keep on the clean path. He enjoyed having clear thoughts most of the time. He wanted to see where his relationship with Alexandra might go. She truly was quite brilliant. They talked about adopting a dog together, a beagle. It would finally be like a real home.

He could not do any of that if he was focused on Reggie.

“I’m going out for a bit, love. I shan’t be long,” he called to her, knowing she was probably too engrossed in the television to even hear him. He grabbed the keys to his old pickup truck off the ring. He needed to clear his head and nothing worked better for him than a scenic drive.

And if that drive ended with him at Reggie’s house and he happened to be there, well? All the better, right?


	3. Emeralds

Bernie stood in at the front door of Reggie’s mansion, gazing in both awe and revulsion at the newest and most pretentious door knocker Reggie added. He knew Reg loved to spend money, it was the only addiction Reg would readily admit to, but Bernie really didn’t think diamonds and emeralds were needed to complete such a simple object… He shook his head at the ridiculous display of wealth and let himself in through the partially open door.

He gazed around the foyer, seeing boxes upon boxes of unopened merchandise. When Bernie was with him, he had done his best to curb Reg’s terrible spending habits. It seems with Bernie away, Reg could not control himself. He glared at the boxes, hating himself more with each step he took into the house. If the state of his foyer was any indication, he had his work cut out for him.

The house was quiet. Almost peaceful. Bernie found that more terrifying than when Reg was having one of his many fits. He pulled himself up the stairs by the handrail, resisting the urge to flee with each stair. He looked into each room he passed, knowing Reg had a tendency to sleep in odd places after a bender. 

Pulling him out from under the kitchen sink at Arabella’s flat was still the most interesting, even after all these years.

He pushed open the door to master bedroom, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the wretched smell. He stepped over one of the many take-out boxes that littered the bedroom floor. He picked up a styrofoam box, frowning when he saw it was mostly full. He gazed around the room with a deepening frown. Empty liquor bottles, both whole and shattered, sat innocently beside the trash. 

He had known Reg would not actually be recording a new album during the break he was taking from touring, no matter what he and Reid told the disappointed fans. He did not know, however, that Reg had given up. Even in his darkest musings he never could imagine the filth Reg was living in. He cursed Reid and the household staff in Reg’s employ for allowing it to get this bad.

He carefully made his way to Reg, looking so frail under the fluffy comforters upon his king sized bed. His face was streaked with tears in various stages of drying. He caressed Reg’s cheeks, feeling tears of his own spring in his eyes. “Oh Reg,” Bernie whispered, sitting beside him. “Hey, mate. It’s time to wake up now, Reg. Open your eyes for me, love,” he murmured, gently rubbing his shoulder. 

“Bern?,” Reg whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, as though afraid to ruin a good dream.

“Yes, love. It’s me… Bernie. Open your eyes for me, Reggie. Come on, mate, you can do it,” Bernie said, his voice but a whisper, falling back into the almost daily routine they shared to get Reg up in the mornings. “That’s it, yes. Good afternoon, love.”

Reg rubbed his eyes with his fists. “I can’t believe you’re really here. I told John there was something off in that powder last night. He said I was just being my paranoid self…”

“Reggie, I’m here. I’m really here. Here,” Bernie said, taking his hands in his. He raised them to his chest. “Feel my heart beating. Feel the ugly pendant you gave me all those years ago. It’s me.”

“It’s not ugly,” Reg grumbled. “It’s beautiful. It really is you. Gods, I thought you’d never come back, Bernie.”

“I wasn’t going to, to be honest, mate. But something told me to get up and come here today. And I can see now just how wrong I was to leave you in the first place. Forgive me?”

“Nothing to forgive,” he said, taking his hands from Bernie’s grasp. He folded his arms across his chest, gasping back the sobs that wanted to burst out. “Everyone leaves me, Bernie. I had been preparing for it for years.”

Bernie shook his head. “Oh, love, I’m so sorry. But I’m here now, and I’m not leaving. Let’s get you in the bath, eh? You always feel better after a bath,” Bernie said, helping Reg to his feet. He wrapped his arm around his waist, frowning at just how thin he had gotten. From the boxes he could tell he had not been eating well, if at all, since he returned to his estate.

Bernie bathed him gently, paying close attention to the bruises and cuts that littered his gaunt frame. He had to rouse Reg three times throughout the bath. He bandaged him as best as he could, dressed him in warmer pajamas than he had been wearing, and tucked him back into bed where he fell asleep again quickly.

Bernie collapsed on the sofa. He had much to do to make this room even somewhat habitable. He had learned from Reg that he and Reid had a horrible argument the evening before, and he did not think he would be returning anytime soon. It was up to Bernie to get Reg through again, and he would do it with a smile. 

He caused this, after all.


	4. Everything's the same

Bernie hung up the phone with a heavy heart. He leaned against the wall, refusing to shed his tears. Another of his relationships over before it truly began. Alexandra had not been pleased when Bernie told her where he was. He had known she was not as open minded as other people, but he had missed all the signs.

It was obvious no matter how hard Reg tried to conceal it to the public that he was gay. Those close to Reg knew that Reid was his lover. Reg also had a string of male lovers that were chosen by Reid when he found another toy to play with. Reid paid women to be seen with Reg from time to time, hoping that it was enough to curb the inquiries.

Alexandra knew Bernie was close with Reg, of course. When she spoke ill of him, he thought it was only because of how far he himself had fallen. He thought that she blamed Reg for it, because she cared for him. Her anger with Reg was sometimes irrational, but after years of being by Reg’s side he had learned how to deal with dramatic people. The truth of the matter was she hated Reg because he was a queer. And now because he planned to stay with him for a few days, he was also a queer. 

He did not know what to make of the new information, especially as they had shared a wonderful sex life, in his opinion.

He didn’t know people still thought like that. He was immersed in the industry for so long, it seemed he forgot what ‘normal’ people acted like. He did not know any man (or woman) in the industry who had not experimented once or twice during a party. That was normal to him. The ones who found they enjoyed it ( _ like him) _ were also normal to him. People like Alexandra would never be normal to him. He ran his fingers through his hair, thankful he had learned the truth before he got too invested and actually adopted a dog...

He was exhausted. He had spent the afternoon cleaning up the master bed and bathroom. He had cussed out the maids for watching the spiral and doing nothing to help. He had gone down the shops and bought himself a few essentials so he would not have to trek to his ranch and leave Reg for a long period of time.

But the phone call. The phone call took the most out of him. He trudged back to the Reg’s room, and sat on the sofa. Reg was still sleeping soundly. Bernie knew from experience it might take a full day before Reg was alert enough to even sit up. He lay down on the sofa, resolving to get some rest himself. He needed to be ready to deal with the aftermath.

  
  


******************

Bernie jumped when he heard Reg’s whimpering. He hurried to the bed, sitting beside him, soothing him with light touches and gentle words. He smiled slightly when Reg pulled back the comforter, pleading without words for Bernie to join him, and then fell back into a deep sleep, his small hands never leaving Bernie’s.

Bernie gazed at the atrocious watch he was gifted by Reg after their first certified gold record together. It was just about 8 in the evening. He knew he should go down to the kitchens and see if the cooks were around. He knew he should rouse Reg and get food into both their systems. He knew there was just so much he should be doing.

But curling around Reg in the bed was much more inviting. So, he did.

********************

Breakfast was brought to them, his words from the day before sunken in more than Bernie had thought they would. Bernie smiled encouragingly with each bite Reg forced down. He did not eat as much as Bernie, he never had, but any bit was a win in Bernie’s opinion.

“You cleaned my bedroom?,” Reg asked after setting aside his tray. He leaned back on the pillows, bringing his tea to his lips. “You didn’t have to, Bernie. I would have done it.”

“When Reg? When the maggots took over camp?,” Bernie asked, bumping his shoulder gently. “It’s alright to need someone sometimes, Reg. You don’t have to be strong for me. You know that.”

Reg snorted. “I can’t be strong for anyone right now, Bern. I’m a fucking mess. John can’t even stand the sight of me anymore. He found a new young thing to spend his days with. I see him maybe once a week, and we always fight, and then he leaves to spend my money on the trollop for another week.”

“You don’t have to put up with this, Reg,” Bernie said, putting his hand on Reg’s thigh. “No, really,” he continued when Reg snorted again. “You are worth so much more than you believe you are, Reg. You deserve so much more than him or the playthings he gets for you. You deserve real love.”

Reg shook his head. “You only say that because you want me to feel better, Bernie. I know myself. I know what’s in my head. I know what I’ve done. If you truly did, you would believe me when I say John is what I deserve. What did you do with my booze?”

“I uhh… Well, I got rid of it, of course.”

Reg nodded as he got to his feet. “I figured as much. You always tried so hard to save me from myself. Thanks for trying to help me, Bernie. It's a losing battle...”

“Where are you going?”

Reg’s silence was answer enough. He was going to get more from elsewhere in the house. Bernie rubbed his face. _It's never going to change, is it? No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, he has a campaign to kill himself. And I really don't know what to fucking do..._


	5. The pendant

Elton sat in his office with his feet on the desk, slowly sipping his whisky. He hadn’t ventured from his room in a long time, and the change of scenery was almost a welcome sight. His simple lunch sat untouched in front of him. Bernie must have told the staff to give him food. As much as he loved his mate, he worried about such silly things like food and cleanliness.

Bernie had left hours ago, just like he knew he would. He always left when it suited him. He did not blame him, no. Bernie had a wonderful life without him, and Elton would rather die than drag Bernie away from it.  _ Well, I’d rather just die _ , he thought, setting the empty tumbler on the desk beside his lunch.

When Elton woke up and saw Bernie, he thought he had finally gone insane. That the drugs and the alcohol had done irreparable damage to his mind. Bernie taking his hands, resting them on his chest, feeling the pendant, made Elton realize that he was sadly still sane. 

Elton grasped his own pendant in his hand, opening it with a smile. After their success at the Troubadour, Elton had decided they ( _ he)  _ needed something to center them in the resulting chaos. He had ventured to the shops while Bernie was at Paradise Cove, and after stopping into Tower Records himself, he had found a small gimmicky shop that sold the most interesting things. He bought two identical gaudy lockets, and put their pictures in them. 

Bernie had said he was a certified nutter when he gave his to him. It was silver and sparkly and everything Bernie hated. Elton would have believed Bernie’s grumbling about hating it if he didn’t have tears in his eyes when he hugged him close after Elton showed him how to open it. 

It had been almost 15 years since that night, and Bernie never left the house without it at least in his pocket.

Elton stared at the wide-eyed youths they once were. Elton was so full of life back then, ready to take on the world. Any bit of self-confidence he had when they made it to America was because of Bernie. It had also been shattered that night at Mama Cass’s when he went off with Heather. 

John Reid had found him that night and made him feel truly loved in the best way. But then after such a wonderful night, he left him, too. 

_ I wish he had just fucking stayed away. Maybe I wouldn’t be feeling so wretched now if he had, _ Elton thought darkly, forgoing his tumbler and drinking straight from the bottle. 

He thought about his working relationship with Bernie, Dick, and Ray. He used to have  _ fun _ when he recorded albums. He used to have  _ fun _ on the road. He hadn’t needed the powder or the booze to get through his shows. Hell, get through his days. That was why they created: fun. 

And now Elton was just a mass of bruises and self inflicted cuts, getting through his days with more and more drink and drugs to try to silence John’s sneering voice within his head.

He closed the locket with a snap.  _ What use are memories when all they do is cause more pain? _ , he thought, getting unsteadily to his feet with the whisky in hand. He stumbled to his room, unwilling to allow anymore travels down memory lane.

He got underneath the fresh linens Bernie must have changed before he left and cried himself to sleep.

  
  


*****************

Bernie pulled into his driveway with a heavy sigh. He had done his best, but it was not good enough. It was never good enough. He entered the empty house, throwing his keys on the kitchen table. He fell into a chair at the table, pulling his lighter out of his breast pocket.  _ That bloke is going to be the fucking death of me _ , he thought, lighting a cigarette. 

He looked around the kitchen, seeing every bit of Alexandra gone. He knew without having to venture into the rest of the house that all her things would have disappeared. He understood before coming back she would have left, but seeing it made his heart hurt all the same.

He wondered how much longer he could keep up with the cycle without ending up in a locked ward. Reggie needed help, but Bernie could not continue on this path of destruction. He thought he was well enough to be able to handle it better this time. He cleaned Reg up, made the room habitable, ensured the help would actually do what they were paid to do and keep it habitable, held him throughout the many night-terrors he seemed to have… Only for Reg to leave to find more booze. 

Bernie had changed the linens for Reg before he left. He needed something to do to calm enough to be able to drive home. He hoped Reg appreciated the small gesture, and wasn’t angry at him for leaving. Bernie knew if he stayed he would have said or done something he would regret, and Reg would never get better.

He took a few beers out of his icebox and went to his bedroom. It was a nice day to wallow in self-pity.


	6. Something about him

Bernie considered returning many times over the weeks that followed. He would walk around his home, his hands clutched to pendant filled with worry. He tried to call Reg a few times, but he would only get a busy signal. When he was not walking around in a haze of anxiety, he was intoxicated so he did not have to deal with it any longer. Something had to give, and soon.

He sat in his truck, tapping his hands on the wheel in annoyance with the midday traffic. He had had to turn the radio off after one too many of  _ their _ songs clogged the air. He refused to shed any more tears for Reg. He refused to wallow in self pity for being unable to help him. He refused to keep following the same pattern and hoping for a new result. It was asinine to think differently. Until Reg decided he was ready for help there was nothing to be done.

He pulled into the office building. It took all the strength he had not to speed off again. Just because he himself could no longer help Reg did not mean Bernie would not try another avenue. He leaned against his truck and smoked a cigarette to try to calm his nerves.

Oh how he hated John Reid.

  
  


***********

“Little Taupin, to what do I owe this… pleasure?,” Reid asked, extending a well manicured hand. Bernie only glared at it, folding his arms across his chest. “My, my, the claws are out today, little Taupin. Have a seat and let’s make this as quick as possible. I have other things I would much rather be doing, of course.”

Bernie sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “My apologies, Reid. That was unprofessional of me,” he said, sitting down in front of the desk. “I’m worn out and not at my best.”

“You’re on a break and seem more worn down than when you were touring with Elton,” Reid said, crossing his ankles atop his large desk. “More’s the pity.”

“Like you truly care,” Bernie grumbled, grasping his pendant.

John only stared at him.

Bernie sighed. “It’s Reg, mate. I… Have you… Have you seen him lately?”

“I stopped in last night because he never made it to the studio like he had said he would. He didn’t even acknowledge I was there so I left,” he said with a shrug. “I gave up trying to make him do anything long ago, little Taupin. He’s a fucking self-entitled prick if there was any. I wish he would just get on with it if he plans to die. It’s not good for my blood pressure having to come up with excuses for his actions all the time.”

Bernie flinched. He could not believe the coldness in Reid’s tone. “You… No, I… This was a fucking mistake,” he said, his fingernails cutting into his palms as he forced himself  _ not _ to punch the arsehole before him. “You did this to him. You caused this, and you don’t even fucking care, do ya? He could die, Reid! He wants to fucking die! And you just sit here in your pretty little office with your pretty little paintings no doubt bought by Reg while he slowly wastes away.”

Reid shrugged. “I cared about him, once upon a time. I gave up on him long ago before he did me in too. You are trying to help a brick wall. You should consider doing the same before you also perish, little Taupin. Do close the door on the way out, won’t you?”

Bernie slammed the door of his truck. He hit his head on the steering wheel repeatedly in his anger. He hated Reid, because he was fucking right.

**************

The phone had barely rung when Bernie answered it. He had been pacing beside the wall phone, his hands folded behind his back, telling himself he did not need to call Reg’s phone yet again just to hear the vexing busy signal. It had been a month since his ill-fated trip to Reg’s house, and Bernie was pulling his hair out in his indecision.

_ Hospital _ , was all John Reid had said before the dial tone sounded.

Now Bernie paced the length the waiting room whilst pulling at his hair. As thankful as he was that Reg was finally going to receive  _ some _ help, he hated himself all the more for not returning when he felt the need. For allowing  _ Reid _ to be the one to find him. 

He could not help but wonder how long he would soak up his  _ savior of the broken star _ status to the public.

Reid sat in the waiting room as well, mobile phone almost glued to his ear, (and Bernie did not want to even think how much of Reg’s money Reid was wasting when there was a perfectly good pay phone right next to them.) He collapsed on the uncomfortable chair, folding his arms across his chest angrily, listening to Reid wax on about Reg’s ‘chest infection’.

“Chest infection, eh?,” Bernie snorted when Reid finally ended the call. He waited for Reid to look at him before continuing. “You don’t actually believe anyone will buy that, do you?”

Reid shrugged. “I really don’t care either way,” he said quietly. He cleared his throat, dabbing his eyes with his handkerchief. “I can at least say I tried to keep Elton’s career afloat when he is released.”

“Are you… Are you fucking crying Reid?,” Bernie asked incredulously. “Over  _ Reggie _ ? You just said to me earlier today you didn’t care a wit about him and I should stop as well?”

“I’m not made of fucking stone, little Taupin,” Reid sneered. “We were together for a long time. I know every part of him. Seeing him crumpled at the bottom of the stairs, gasping for breath, begging me to help him, it made me remember why I cared for him in the first place. There really is just something about that duffer…”

Bernie put his hand on Reid’s thigh when he became too choked up to continue, because really, that’s all he had wanted to hear all along. That someone else cared about Reggie. That someone else wanted him to get better. Not for the money, but because there was something about him.

Even if that someone was John fucking Reid…


	7. Forgiveness

Bernie sat beside the hospital bed scribbling in his notepad, the beeping of the machines an almost calming presence after the constant whirring of his anxiety for so long. He looked up Reg, pleased to see some color returning to his cheeks as the different tubes did their work. He looked so young in the standard issue hospital johnny, so much different than even his most muted clothes.

The nurse had tried to convince him to go home and rest. Reg was safe, they had said. He would be sleeping for a good while. Reid had even offered to sit with him after his meetings for the day were over. He had promised to ring him if Reg were to wake while he was gone. Bernie had refused them both as pleasantly as he was able. 

He needed to be the first person Reggie saw when he woke.

He spent the day with Reg’s hand in his own. He dabbed a cool washcloth over Reg’s his sweaty forehead when it became too much. He sang to him with his horrid voice when he began to whimper in his sleep. He spoke gently to him throughout, wanting him to know he was not alone in his pain. That he would not be alone again. He had broken that promise before, but he promised he would not do it again. He refused to lose his best mate.

The shadow over them began to fade.

He wrote sheet after sheet of poems. He channeled his pain into words. He may or may not ever show Reg the pages, but it calmed his heart even more as it gave himself something to do while he waited for Reg to finally wake.

He fingered his pendant to keep himself sane when he lost his train of thought. Reg’s was in his pocket. He did not trust the hospital to keep it safe.

He thought of the box of photos he had beneath his bed from over the years. He needed to find a new photo to put in each to show how much they have grown from the weeks leading up to the troubadour.

Reid had brought them dinner each night in a strange show of camaraderie. They sat watching the tele in silence on the strange first night, eating take-out from Bernie’s favorite Thai restaurant. 

_ “How did you know?,” Bernie had asked during a commercial break, setting down his chopsticks. _

_ “How did I know what?” _

_ Bernie gestured to the food. “This? How did you know what I liked?” _

_ Reid snorted. “How could I not? You’re all Elton talked about for a long time, little Taupin. It was rather disconcerting considering I was his boyfriend at the time.” _

_ “You’re not as bad as I thought you were, Reid.” _

_ “Oh, no, I was and still am a horrible human being, little Taupin, you have every right to hate my guts. But then again, people change when you least expect them to, aye?” _

“Yes,” Bernie whispered, gently caressing Reg’s cheek. “People do change. People ignore what’s right in front of them, even when all the signs point to it. I see how wrong I was, mate. Come back to me Reg. I fucking love you with all that I am. Let me love you the way you deserve.”

Reg smiled in sleep as though he understood what Bernie said. Bernie fell asleep on the hard chair, Reg’s hand clasped in his own, a contented smile on his face.

  


****************

“Be-Bernie?”

Bernie jumped to his feet with a cry of joy. “Reggie! Oh I am so happy to hear your voice! How are you feeling? Let me call the nurse right quick. I’ll be right back!,” Bernie said, his smile so wide it almost hurt his face. He tripped over his chair in his excitement, and grinned at Reg’s quiet snort of amusement.

“Wha happ’?,” Reg asked, his voice raspy from disuse, as Bernie helped him sit up.

“You had a heart attack, love, following a cocaine seizure. Reid found you and called emergency services. You’ve been asleep for a week now,” Bernie said, fluffing the thin pillow behind his head. 

“Thirs’.”

“Yes, I know you must be very thirsty. We have to wait for the nurse to come check on you before giving you anything, though, love. It will just be a mom’, I promise,” Bernie said, placing Reg’s glasses on his nose. Bernie rolled his eyes at Reg’s glare. “I’m not mother henning, you arsehole. Just following orders.”

Reg folded his arms across his chest, pointedly staring at the wall as the nurse checked his vitals. Bernie sat back down on his chair with a frown. _ And so it begins, _ he thought. _ I had so hoped his little attitude would have changed after this… _

Reg sipped his water through the straw his nurse had given him. “I’m sorry, Bernie,” he said, his voice shaking as hard as the cup in his hand. “For being an arsehole just now and well... I’ve been a horrible friend over the years when all you’ve done is want to help.”

“Nothing to forgive,” Bernie said.

“Sure there is, but thank you anyway.”

“I’m sorry, too, Reg, that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I...”

“Nothing to forgive,” he interrupted, a smirk on his face.

Bernie laughed. “Cheeky bugger,” Bernie said fondly.

“Always.”

“Oh! Before I forget, here,” Bernie said, pulling Reg’s pendant out of his pocket. “I took it off when I was finally allowed in here so it didn’t get ‘lost’. I uhh… I took the liberty of changing the photo, Reg. It's something I should have mentioned long ago, and this seems like the perfect outlet to do so and I hope you… I hope you like it.”

Reg looked at Bernie oddly. “You always said this was the most ridiculous thing I had ever come up with, and now you went and found some new meaning for them?”

Bernie cleared his throat. “They’re not that ridiculous, Reg. The years have bloody softened my heart, alright? Just open it already, mate.”

The photo as simple, taken during the launch party of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. They were no longer the fresh face youths of the first photo, but neither looked as worn as they did now. Bernie in his muted western outfit, Reg in his bedazzled western outfit. Bernie had his arms wrapped around Reg, gazing down at him with such love and affection Reg felt his heart stutter. Reg was smiling goofily back.

“Our first kiss,” Reg murmured, caressing the photo with his finger. “The one we pretended was only because we were inebriated, just broken up with our significant others, and were caught up in the moment, so we decided it never happened.”

Bernie ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah.”

Reg looked at him. “Why this? Why this photo, out of the the dozens you had at your disposal?”

“I love you, Reg.”

“I love you too, mate, but that doesn’t answer the question.”

“Don’t be obtuse. Of course it fucking answers the question. I am in love with you, have always been in love with you, and always will be in love with you.”

Reg’s bewildered expression made the painstaking work to find the right photo and worry about it worth it.


	8. Fight Or Flight

“You can’t actually think beginning the tour again is a good idea, Reid?,” Bernie asked, pacing the hospital corridor. “What did you say while I was gone to even make Reg agree to this insane idea? I go to grab an edible cup of coffee and come back to Reg waxing on about how wonderful he feels and how be can’t wait to please his brilliant fans again after his selfish hiatus, after he and I  _ just _ spoke at length about him taking a stint in rehab to truly finish recuperating?”

Reid shrugged. “You know I can’t make Elton do anything he doesn’t want to do, little Taupin. I mentioned the stacks of fan letters I have in my office wishing him a speedy recovery from that terrible chest infection and he decided he needed to get back on the road.”

“You mean you manipulated him with the secrets he doesn’t want to leak out to the press so you can continue cashing in on his name!,” Bernie exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “I know you, Reid, even if I seem to have forgotten in these weeks with my worry for Reg. Just as you said Reg spent a lot of time talking to you about me, he told me all about you, even if he didn’t realize it. Your need for control of him needs to end. Now.”

John only smiled as he patted his head. “And just what will you do about it? I can manipulate my way out of a paper bag. I got you on my side, didn’t I? ELTON will be released today according to his nurse, and we will be returning to OUR house to gather what we need to begin OUR tour. You know he has a little people pleasing issue, and he just  _ loves _ to please me. You will be forgotten about once again with enough shows on his plate, enough coke to be sniffed, enough drink to be drunk, I will ensure that.” 

Bernie turned his head, confused, when Reid nodded to something behind him. A hand clasped Bernie’s wrist. “You should know better than to fuck with me, little Taupin. I will win. I always win,” he said, smirking as Bernie was dragged down the hall. 

As the elevator dinged Bernie screamed.

  
  


*******************

Bernie stood in the crowded corridor, leaning against the wall. His hands were in the pockets of his jacket, keeping precious hold of his locket. He kept careful watch of the goings on with a frown. Did they always have so many people with them during the tours? Bernie knew he spent quite a bit of time riding a high, but he did not think he would miss such a crowd...

Reid stood with his back to him, his arms boxing a young lad who could not be more than 20 against the wall. The young lad looked up at Reid in awe, like he could part the seas himself. Bernie glared at Reid’s back, his anger for being taken a fool returning with a vengeance as his watched the man’s infidelity.

He slinked down the hallway to Reg’s dressing room, keeping his cowboy hat hanging low on his face. He did not want to be recognized. Reid needn’t know he was even here. He needed to see with his own eyes that Reg was alright. He needed to hear from Reg’s mouth that he actually wanted to go on. He needed feel Reg’s pendant to ensure he was still thinking of him as much as he was him. 

He stood in the doorway, his heart dropping in disappointment. A half empty bottle of whisky sat innocently on the table in front of Reg, a tumbler filled to the brim beside it. His trusty box of cocaine was still open, the small spoon dirty from recent use. He was in the process of applying makeup to his face, but Bernie could still see the bruises he was trying so desperately to cover. Bernie shook his head, still unable to believe the hold Reid had on his mate.

“What are you doing, Reg?,” Bernie asked, unable to keep silent any longer. He wasn’t even able to smile when Reg threw the makeup brush in surprise. His heart hurt seeing the wide eyed look of surprise he had that Bernie would even be there, considering less than a year ago they were still joined at the hip.

“Bernie? You… You’re not… You’re supposed to be here… Oh... John is going to be so angry,” Reg stuttered, shakily getting to his feet. “You need to leave before he sees you, Bernie,” he said, nearly pushing him out the door. “Please. You don’t know what he’ll do to me if he sees you.” 

Bernie stepped forward into the room. “I’m not going anywhere, Reg. I promised you I wouldn’t when you were in the hospital. Neither heaven or hell, or even John fucking Reid will make me break that promise this time. He will not hurt you again,” he said gently. He opened his arms. “Come here, love. I’ve got you.”

Reg stepped into his arms, burying his face in Bernie’s chest, grasping the lapels of his jacket in his hands. “I don’t want to do this, Bernie,” he sobbed while Bernie rubbed soothing circles on his back. “I don’t want to go pretend it is okay anymore. It hurts. I hurt. Everywhere, Bernie.”

“Shhh… I know, sweetheart, I know. And you don’t have to do this, Reg. You don’t have to give Reid the win. You can step back now, get real help, and truly live. It’s okay to ask for help. You’ve been strong so long, Reg. I’m so, so proud of you for making it this far with the shitty hand you’ve been dealt, with almost all your sanity in tact. But I promise you, it is okay to take some time off. It is okay to break away from the wanker. It is okay to hide away from the world for a little bit.”

“The fans… they…”

“Will still be there in a few months time,” Bernie interrupted. “You make music that people love. You need to learn who are you, love, and be okay with it. We can go back to my ranch for a bit. I have horses now. Oh! And a dog. I'm getting a dog. You’ll love her.”

“What kind of dog?,” Reg asked, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

“Oh she’s a…”

“What’s this then?”

"God, Reid, do you have to be everywhere?," Bernie asked.

“John!,” Reg exclaimed, ducking out of Bernie’s arms quickly. “It isn’t what it looks like, I swear.”

John raised an eyebrow. “It looks like you are spending time with little Taupin when I specifically said you were to stay clear of him. You were due on stage ten minutes ago, Elton. You’re fans are wondering what the fuck is going on. I am very disappointed in you. You know what happens when you don’t listen to me.”

Bernie stepped in front Reg. “You don’t get to speak to him that way any longer, Reid. I’m taking him with me. You can tell the ‘disappointed’ fans he will not be performing tonight, thanks.”

John shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, little Taupin. Let’s go, love. You don’t want me to be more disappointed in you, do you?”

Reg looked between Bernie and John with wide eyes. The two most important men in his life, fighting over him. Neither ever gave him a true say in his own life. They each "knew what was best" for him. He couldn't stay here, with either of them, any longer. “I… I… I don’t know…,” he said, before turning and running from the room. 

Bernie watched him weave passed the confused group of people still standing in the corridor. By the time his feet responded to his brain’s command to follow, Reg was gone.


	9. Life will never be dull

“I can’t fucking believe you!”

“You can’t believe me? Everything was fine until you stuck your fucking nose in it, little Taupin.”

“It was not fucking fine, Reid, and you know it! He is hurting. He’s been hurting. And you don’t fucking care a whit about anything but making the profit on his name! We should have sacked you years ago, after the first time you broke his fucking ribs for ‘disappointing’ you. Maybe then we wouldn’t be in this fucking situation.”

“We have to find him, little Taupin.”

“No!,” Bernie yelled, stomping his foot on the sidewalk. He did not care how childish he was being. His anger had overcome his good sense. It felt good to let loose. “‘We’ don’t have to do anything. I will find him and I will do what I should have done years ago! Keep him the fuck away from you and your abnormal need to control him like fucking property!”

Bernie hailed a taxi, ignoring the stunned looks he was receiving from the on-lookers. He could never remember being so vexed with himself! He had well and truly fucked everything up this time, and he could only hope he had another chance to right the situation. By the state of Reg when he ran from them, though, Bernie did not have much hope for redemption.

“You should remember I am his manager, little Taupin. I control not only him but his career. He  _ allows _ me to control both himself and his career. You will never understand the basis of our relationship, little Taupin. You are much to proper for that. You won’t be able to rid me easily,” Reid said, watching Bernie get into the cab with that stupid sneer on his face. 

Oh how Bernie wished to knock that stupid sneer off his face...

“But I will, Reid. Believe me when I say, I will. You will never touch him or his money again as long as I am alive,” Bernie promised, slamming the door shut. “Nearest pub, if you will, sir.”

As the taxi sped off towards the destination, Bernie buried his face in his hands. He knew how Reg reacted when he and Reid fought in front of him. He knew how he hated being fought over, also. His obsession with Reid (Bernie refused to ever call it love, even before their relationship turned abusive) was well-known to him, and Reid always used it for his own gain, even in the years following their break-up.  _ Just like clay _ , he had murmured one night on the jet, just before Bernie set off on his own. Reg would rather flee the situation than take any side in any confrontation he was faced with, especially when it came to Bernie and Reid.

As he stumbled to his suite later that night, a mess of emotions that even the pints of ale could not quiet, he finally felt what Reg said he felt for himself all these years. How Reg could feel such hatred for himself, and still go on, was something Bernie would never understand. He fell asleep with the tears still falling, his pendant the only thing tethering him to life.

  
  


***************

Bernie sat at their coffee shop, fiddling with his scarf. He had received a letter in the mail (finally) months after Reg’s departure. He had made quick arrangements, ensuring his ranch would be taken care of while he was gone and the meetings with new artists would still be there when he returned, he hopped on the next flight to London. He still could not believe of all the places Reg would have sought refuge in, it was at his mum’s home that he found it.

When the tiny bell above the door rang Bernie jumped to his feet. His eyes widened at just how well Reg looked. He walked towards him, a big smile on his face. He could not remember the last time Reg walked and didn’t stumble. He could not remember the last time he smiled and not smirked. He could not remember 

the last time his eyes had radiated warmth and not an everlasting darkness that could not be contained. 

_ And he did it all without me... _

Bernie shook his head to clear it. There was no need to continue to place blame upon himself. Reg was well, and that was what mattered. He opened his arms to him, hoping he did not look foolish, and smiled gratefully when Reggie stepped into the hug. “I’ve been so worried about you, mate,” he whispered.

“I know, Bernie. I should have reached out sooner,” Reg said. “At least to tell you I was still alive or something. I know how irrational you get when it comes to me.”

“Irrational?,” Bernie asked, sitting back down. “I never get irrational. You just live to drive me spare, love.”

Bernie mouth dropped open when Reg laughed heartily. He did not think it was quite that funny, but he couldn’t help the happiness that spread throughout at the wonderful sound.

“Sorry, Bernie, but it’s fucking true,” Reg said, shrugging out of his coat. “But it isn’t like I didn’t deserve it, really. I was pretty shitty at taking care of myself. You only did what you thought you had to do to keep me alive. I’m sure without you I would have died numerous times. You were the only one to do it for me, just me, and not for my money. And I appreciate, mate. I really do.”

Bernie nodded. “Always for you, Reg. Always… So… Fucking Pinner, eh?”

Reg snorted. “Yeah, I know. Absurd, isn’t it? I figured it was the last place  _ he _ would look for me. And I was right. He hasn’t contacted me since,” Reg said, lifting the cup of coffee Bernie had already ordered him. “Mum was vexed at first. She said at almost 40 I should not have to move back home, but Fred and Nan talked her down.”

“I can imagine. Your nan can be frightening.” 

He smiled. “Yes, she fucking can be… She made it her personal goal to fatten me up and keep the drink and drugs away from me. Her daily raids became legendary in the house. Fred and mum had a betting pool in the beginning. If she found anything in my room she would not only smack me upside the head, but then follow me around the house like I was a tot on punishment, or make me sit in the kitchen and help her with her knitting. It was so fucking boring!”

Bernie couldn’t help but laugh. Ivy was a brilliant woman, indeed.

“So I’ve spent the past few months drying out so I wouldn’t have to help with the knitting any longer.” Reggie grasped his pendant. “This was a god send, Bernie. This picture kept me going when I was ready to off myself. I would open it, and stare at the picture, and sob until I could go on again. I… I’m not sure what’s next in this life for me, but I couldn’t stay away from you any longer. I never told you just how much I need you.”

“And I you, love,” Bernie said, taking his own pendant in his hand. “My life is rather dull without you and your antics, Reg.”

“Well, I plan to keep it dull, Bernie, but this time, we can keep it dull together.”

They tapped their mugs together. “Sounds like a spiffing plan, Reg. I have always loved the simple life. But any life you choose for us will be wonderful, because mine will never be complete without you in it.”

“You mean that?”

“Always, Reggie. Always.”


	10. I owe you nothing

As much as Elton loved performing, the road had never been much of a friend to him, even with Bernie by his side. Long days followed even longer nights when all Elton wanted to do was sleep. The concerts for his farewell tour were more subdued than ever before: his costumes not as flamboyant, his antics not as dramatic, but the arenas still sold out night after night. 

It was difficult to keep up without the drugs in his system.

Bernie kept a close eye on him, unwilling to allow Elton to drift down a darker path, not when he was finally healthy. Elton tried to be thankful. He tried not to be _ too _ cross when Bernie steered him away from the many parties they were invited to. He tried not to be too cross when Bernie made him eat and sleep like a normal human being, even if he was incredibly busy with public relations and the damn shows too. He even tried to be grateful when Bernie helped him sort through the mess his mind became when people asked him too many questions about his personal life and his split with John.

He really missed not feeling anything at all.

Bernie was unwell. He had taken the night off and stayed back at their hotel room. Elton had wanted to cancel the concert, not sure if he was able to handle it without him. No matter how many times he held his pendant he could not get away from the offers of the drink and drugs from his backing ensemble.

He ran blindly out of the dressing room when he could not say ‘no’ any longer.

“Evening, Elton.”

Right into John Reid.

“Where are you off to in such haste? You’ll hurt yourself, love.”

Elton screamed, pulling at his hair in his frenzied state. He could feel people watching the scene. “Get away from me, John.”

“Come now, Elton. Let’s speak like civilized adults. I know somewhere in you you can still be civilized,” he said, wrapping his arm around Elton and gently leading him down the hallway. “I’m sure I am paying you to do more than stare,” he snapped at the crowd, smiling when they scurried away.

“I had told you I’d do this stupid tour, but you needed to stay away from me,” Elton said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“And I have. Little Taupin has made sure of it, hasn’t it? I just thought we could speak man to man, now that he’s taken the night off, before you take the stage. I think you owe me that much, love.”

Elton stopped short. “I owe you nothing, John. I gave and gave and gave of myself to you, the fans, the industry... I looked the other way when you found other boys to share your bed because you couldn’t stand what you made me any longer. I ensured you lived the lavish lifestyle you had always wanted despite that, because I fucking loved you. Despite everything you did to me. I even allowed you to spend my money on your new weekly trollops, because I kept hoping one day I’d be enough for you! I did everything you ever asked of me, and it was never enough. Nothing I ever did was good enough. I just wasn’t good enough. I was clay in your hands, and you made me into what I am today, for better or worse, so I guess it's your fault I ended up falling short to your useless standards, eh? And even now... Now you dare to say I owe you, and call me love like you ever loved me… It’s not right, John. Our relationship is not right. It hasn’t been right in years, and I was just too blinded by substances to notice.

“I’m going to finish this tour, not for you, but for my loyal fans. I am also going to finish it sober to spite you. I know you are the reason the powder keeps getting pushed my way tonight. You had hoped I'd be too stoned to stand up for myself. Not to worry though, _love_, I am stone cold sober... I am going to return home to Bernie after the show and enjoy actually being loved for me for a change, and not what I can give. What you do, I don’t care, but if you come near me again, I swear you will regret the day you were born. Understood?”

Elton turned from him without waiting for a response. He was so silly to think he needed any substances before he made it on stage, Bernie or not. He walked towards the stage, a slight skip to his step, so bloody proud of himself, and he just knew Bernie would be too.

_ Three more shows, then home for good _, Elton thought, bouncing onto the stage. The big grin he gave to his fans was not even forced.


	11. The simple life isn't so simple...

“Heya, Bernie?”

“Yeah, Reg?”

“I think you’re washing machine is broken, mate…”

Bernie laughed, getting up from the kitchen table. Teaching Reg about ‘the bloody simple life’ was such fun most of the time. They had returned to the ranch just over a week ago, and it had concerned Bernie in the beginning just how little Reg actually knew how to do for himself. Every little thing Reg learned excited him, though, and Reg’s excitement had always been contagious. Bernie found himself looking forward to teaching him a new thing every day.

Bernie’s least favorite day, though, had been when Reg decided he needed to know what Bernie meant about 'finances'. Bernie tried to teach Reg how to balance a checkbook, even though he did not understand the point of keeping track of his money when it would just keep accumulating with the record sales, even after Bernie had pointed out the little errors in Reg's accounts over the years. Bernie promised himself that day to find out what was happening in Reg’s accounts, even if the man himself couldn’t care less.

“What? Had your Nan do your laundry during your time away?,” he teased, kissing Reg’s forehead.

“Like she would ever let me do it myself, Bernie. Use your bloody head,” Elton grumbled, leaning into Bernie when he wrapped his arm his around his shoulders. He allowed Bernie to lead him back to the small laundry room, keeping close to the Bernie’s side. His need for affection was something Bernie was more than happy to grant. “You should just let me rehire my maid, love. Then I wouldn’t have to interrupt you all the time.”

“No, no, Reg, you wanted the 'simple life', remember? The 'simple life' requires work from you, yes, but even you have said it is much more rewarding," Bernie said, tapping Reg's nose with a smile. "And I promise you I love being interrupted when you need me, Reg. Anytime you need me, no matter how trivial, okay?" He nodded. "You got the soap in alright?” Elton nodded again. “Good, now you just press this button,” Bernie said, raising Elton's hand with his own to press the button. “And voila! It’s started!”

“That’s it?,” Elton asked with a furrowed brow.

“Yep,” Bernie said, entwining their fingers and kissing Elton’s hand.

“Wow! I did it!,” he said, jumping up and down like a child.

Bernie could not help his laugh. Reg’s excitement over something so trivial to him would never get old. “Yes, you did it, love. Great job. Now we wait about an hour and it goes in the dryer.”

“Wait... I have to wait a bloody hour?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck, Bernie, this simple life is so _ boring!”, _he whined. "What am I supposed to do with myself until then?"

Bernie bit back a laugh. Reg’s tendency to whine about the life he had chosen amused him almost as much as teaching him the basics. He settled for a one arm shrug. “I told you you’d hate it, love, long before the tour ended. You could read a book?" Elton glared at him, which caused Bernie to laugh even harder. "Listen, why don’t you take my truck down to the shops? You’ve got that new shiny credit card waiting to be used, haven’t you? Go have fun for a bit.”

“You don’t want to come with?”

“I have to finish reading over this contract, love, or else I would. I’ll put your clothes in the dryer and have dinner ready when you get back. Go have fun, okay? You deserve it after putting up with me all week.”

“I can buy whatever I want?,” Elton asked, folding his arms across his chest, a slight pout on his face. “You’re not going to get all funny about my purchases this time?”

Bernie chuckled. “No, Reg. I’m not going to ‘get all funny’. I promise. It's your money to spend, love.” _And I can find out why John fucking Reid is still dipping into your accounts when he was **finally** officially fired last month without interruption, _ Bernie thought, kissing Elton gently. “I’ll have dinner ready when you get back, love. Enjoy!”

Elton's beaming smile never failed to make Bernie's knees weak.


	12. The right romantic line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's over! Thanks to everyone who came along for the ride!

Bernie watched Elton perform with such wild abandon his heart soared. Just as Bernie predicted, Elton soon grew tired of the ‘simple life’, and just as Bernie promised, he stayed by Elton’s side throughout his transformation. He gently guided Elton through his days no matter how exhausted the road made them both. He dealt with Elton’s histrionics better than he ever had. He never allowed the pressure of the road become too much for either of them. Sobriety agreed with them both. Elton lived and breathed their music in a way he never had before, even if his antics on stage usually made Bernie shake his head in exasperation.

It had taken some time, but John Reid finally answered for all he had done to Elton. Bernie worked in secret with their solicitors, knowing Elton would never want it to go forward. He didn’t know until the day the funds that were stolen were piled into his account that Bernie had done anything at all. 

Thinking about Reid’s comeuppance still made Bernie smile, even months later.

It took a full week of groveling for Elton to forgive Bernie. John Reid would always hold a piece of Elton in his hand, and Elton a piece of Reid in his heart, no matter how much time they spent apart. Bernie had to learn to accept that fact if he had any chance of rekindling whatever he and Elton could have together.

He was trying, and Elton appreciated that.

Bernie smiled when Elton jumped into his arms the moment he came offstage. “You were absolutely brilliant, love!,” Bernie said, nuzzling Elton’s neck, feeling the calm only Elton’s scent could bring him.

“I even remembered where we were without you reminding me a million times, Bernie!,” he said with a beaming smile.

“Yes, love, you did wonderful,” Bernie said, settling him back on his feet. He kissed Elton’s forehead. “I am so proud of you, Reg. You have come so far.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Bernie. None of this would be possible without you.”

Bernie laced their fingers together as they walked to Elton’s dressing room. “You could have done it without me, Reg, but I am so thankful to be a part of this. So thankful to be one with you. But I do have one question.”

“What’s that?”

“What’s with all the fucking glitter? I thought you were done with the dramatic costumes... I’m never going to be able to wear this suit again!,” Bernie grumbled, trying to wipe the glitter away in vain.

“I’ll buy you a new suit, darling. It’s the least I can do,” Elton said, laughter evident in his voice. “It was time to do something bold. Time to transform again. Make people remember who I am. You know I am not just not cut out for that simplicity rubbish you are attuned to.”

Bernie laughed. “No, you are definitely not simple, Reg, and that’s why I love you. You are absurd, brilliant, terrifying, and beyond anything I ever expected when I met you at the cafe, nor the years that followed. You make my life worth living, Reg.”

Elton caressed Bernie’s cheek. “And to think I almost shut you out completely, Bernie. You were always the light to my darkness. Words are your thing, not mine, but I hope this,” Elton grasped Bernie’s pendant, “shows you just how much you mean to me. And now I’ll use your words, Bernie, to say that although I never found the right romantic line, you never discarded me. You helped me heal, and never let the sun go down on me, no matter how difficult I was. I think I am truly falling in love with you too, Bernie.”

“I’m already there, love, ready to catch you.”

They kissed, slow and sweet, promises of a bright future for them both. “You still owe me a new suit, though, love. Glitter does nothing for my complexion.”


End file.
